just a chick from Trinidad writing about her life on a small island but with big dreams all the same.

Sunday, July 30, 2006


Ages ago i bloggged about this fine blogger with dread locks i searched and searched everywhere and couldn't find his blog until two minutes ago!
This is for the ladies who read this blog click here (with clothes) and here ( with little clothes) and tell me honestly isn't he FINE!!!


Saturday, July 29, 2006


Last Cigarette: never!!

Last Alcoholic Drink: Smirnoff Ice - 13th July 2006

Last Car Ride: yesterday on way from work - taxi

Last 'Romantic' Kiss: sometime last year i think.....been so long

Last Good Cry: 24th July I am always sad takes little to make me cry

Last Library Book: A house for Mr. Biswas V.S Naipaul its overdue too

Last book bought: story book for son

Last Book Read:The Principles and power of vision Dr. Myles Munroe

Last Movie Seen in Theatres:The Breakup

Last Movie Rented: don't rent movies

Last Cuss Word Uttered: maybe shit

Last Beverage Drank: tea

Last Food Consumed: microwave popcorn - butter lovers

Last Crush: Tony Pierce- think i have finally gotten him out my system :)

Last Phone Call: hours ago my blog friend

Last TV Show Watched: To Kill a Mockingbird on TCM

Last Time Showered: yesterday afternoon

Last Shoes Worn: work shoes...pumps

Last CD Played: B.O.D.Y band of de year machel montano looove this cd

Last Item Bought: clothes for son yesterday.

Last Download: none

Last Annoyance: someone's car alarm going off in the middle of the night

Last Disappointment: not getting to meet my blog friend

Last Soda Drank: mountain dew....didn't drink the whole thing though

Last Thing Written: comment on someone's blog

Last Key Used: front door key

Last Words Spoken: i speak to the computer sometimes :)

Last Sleep: yesterday in the day time

Last Ice Cream Eaten: TCBY pralines and cream months ago

Last Chair Sat In: my desk chair

Last Webpage Visited:

Monday, July 24, 2006


Ok I can't blog about the whole Miss Universe show yesterday and not remember that the first Black Miss Universe came from Trinidad back in 1977 Janelle 'Penny' Commissiong.
Isn't she beautiful? and take it from me she is more beautiful in real life you can't take your eyes off her i've only seen her once in real life and talk about aging grace fully.

I found these pictures on the net and had to post them i don't want to brag or anything but some of the most beautiful women in the world can be found right here in trini no lie come and see for yourself if you don't believe me.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

No title

She didn't win but she did come in the top ten so that wasn't so bad.
Didn't get to see the show though got invited to a party a neighbour was having and i couldn't pass it up she throws the best parties and it was a kinda farewell because she sold her house (for double what we paid for it can't believe our property value has gone up so much!) and is moving to some bourgeois place in the west.

It was a fun party apparently the guy who bought the place is a bachelor she kept telling me this...not interested...

I can't lie though i was flirting my heart out with one of her guests he was like me not drinking any alcohol and we both were sneaking and drinking the coconut water (the alcohol drinkers were complaining that we were using up all the chaser trini slang for mixer).
I am so looking forward to the coming weeks i broke down and enroled my son into a summer camp for three weeks his cousin and friends are all going so i really couldn't say no and since exams are over i have all this free time i don't know what to do with myself of course i have made a list of the possible things i can do in the next three weeks...

1. Learn to swim finally there is a swim class starting on monday its everyday for the next two weeks.
2. Learn to drive and finally get my drivers licences.
3. Join the gym and hire a personal trainer to lose these lbs once and for all.
4. Try to make a dent into Oprah's book club reading list
5. Now that i finally have a proper camera go site seeing and take some photos
6. Just sit around the house and waste time eating bonbons and watch a lot of daytime tv...
7. Start studying and preparing for next semester have to get straight As if i want to graduate with honors....

Really and truly the only one i truly want to do is #6.....
Have a great week everyone.

Saturday, July 22, 2006


I have such a good feeling about this girl our Miss Universe representative Kenisha Thom, maybe i am biased because:
  • one she is from Tobago like moi
  • two she is dark skinned like moi and
  • three she lived right around the corner from me for a while and she was so friendly never putting on airs or anything like that.
So you know i will be watching the show and making real noise to support her the last time i felt like that was when Wendy Fitzwilliam won in 1998 boy that was something else i was running from the living room to the bedroom certain parts i just couldn't watch was too nervous like during the interview portion so i just ran into the bedroom them came back out to check the tv it was madness and when she won i was jumping up and down on the bed so much i broke it people were making noise throughout the neighbourhood it was great will never forget that night.
Promise not to break any beds this time too old for that now anyway.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006


Sorry no news to tell did not get to meet my blog friend yet he had a death in his family and i feel funny about meeting him now he's here for a while so who knows we spoke on the phone today though so we'll see.....promise to tell all if we do meet.

Took my son to campus with me today and boy he wore me out i have a math exam on wednesday and one of my school mates wanted to study i warned him that we wouldn't get anything done with my son there he's 23 and was girl just bring the boy it will be fun yeah right! what do you know about six year olds...

Anyway we get there around 10am me lugging a bag full of school books and toys and books and snacks for my son ( i need to get my drivers licence soon getting too old for this) and we settle down in an empty room we didn't dare use the library.... give my son his books and organize him.
Fifteen minutes lather he wants to go to the bathroom ok so we go..... then settle him down again then its mom i'm hungry ok its almost 11am so we take a break for lunch he insist on bringing one of his trucks that he dropped about ten times on our way to the roti shop hmmmm we return for lunch we eat and of course trips to the bathroom to wash hands and ok after lunch he has all his snacks and we start to 'study' and he's bored he's done all the writing he could do in one day and i beg him honey don't say anything for the next five minutes close yuh mouth.....of course he has to come ask me mommy if i have to yawn yuh mean i can't open my mouth?....i can't lie he cracked me up with that one........ the next thing mommy i need to go 't-o-w t-o-w' thats his code for 'two two' we go to the bathroom and of course its then i figure out he just likes playing with the hand dryer and is not really interested in using the bathroom at all when i get back to my friend he's like ...........girl its 1pm lets do this another time and i'm like i warned you that its impossible to study with a six year old around but you didn't listen..... so now i get to travel back home with my heavy bag and a tired child and of course i still haven't been able to get any rest or studying done because he gets to take a nap and wake up revived and wants to take his bike to the park........... and on my return from the park i get a message from some police constable who wants me to still come in and make a report about the incident i blogged about pressuureeee...........this thing just won't go away it was even written up about in one of our newspapers they didn't say our names though thank God...........

so thats what my day was like today........i need a miracle to pass that exam on wednesday i'm just so tired mentally and physically and killing time blogging instead of studying.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Highs and lows..........

Isn't life funny like that one minute you are in such a funk that no matter what even your mom coming over and cooking for you(which she did twice this week i love her so...) can't get you out of the funk then somthing happens to change that.

I got a phone call from a friend the one i've been talking to by phone the one i met thru my blog he had to fly to Trinidad for a family emergency and of course my first reaction was oh nooooooo not now i haven't combed my hair in ages haven't been out of the house in a while plus i am depressed and i know i said i would like to meet him in person someday just not today noway........anyway i can't lie i washed my hair today and went for a run around the savannah and i feel great! Who knows he might be too busy for us to meet this time around.... i hope.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Sexual Harassment............

Ok i have been putting off blogging about this for some time but i am ready today maybe it could help someone else out there in blog land...

A few years ago i had the experience where one of my bosses used to make me feel real uncomfortable he would make crude jokes and comments around me his body always seemed to brush against my body like his arm touching my breast or something like that and i knew it wasn't right the way i felt.

i went to the department that handles these things and the lady i spoke to told me that what i explained to her WAS sexual harrassment but its really hard to prove and at the time my husband was unemployed and i needed my job so she gave me some advice and i did everything she told me to do i was in a mess i felt trapped and helpless and she told me to do things to empower myself like further my education so that eventually i could get a better job that's why i am doing my degree she told me to stay out of his way thats why i work the night shift and i have been doing all those things and basically life has been bearable but last month things escalated and basically i can't give too much details but one evening while i was on duty he called me to his office and locked the doors and made a pass at me and..... well i am still dealing with it... i took some time off work and today i called for some more time home because i am not ready to go back to work... i mentioned what happened to a female friend at work and she went behind my back and reported it and the company took action against him but my work colleagues especially the female ones are not happy they think he is just getting a slap on the wrist and they are applying pressure on me to got to the police and get a lawyer and sue basically i get phone calls everyday from people who are now finding out and they all start with ....girl if it was me i woulda do....blah blah blah and all i want to say is no if it was you you don't know how you will act in this situation you don't know so stop....

I am stressed missed all of my summer classes and exams are next week and i have to decide what to do next everyone thinks the guy should be fired and i should insist that the company does that but i have to think about my family my son and the repercussions i need my job especially now i need it.

Basically i have to get into a fight that i am really too tired and weary to fight any other time in my life i would have been able to deal with this but not now its too much happening at once..... and when i think about it anyhow the outcome i have a lot to lose so its easy for someone on the outside to say things like your husband if he was a real man would get his friends to beat his arse.... well guess what he works for the same company and he needs his job too and on and on as i've said i feel trapped again...and basically just want to run away and hide or turn back time and make up an excuse and not go to his office say i'm too busy or another co-worker gave me the number of a councellor and she treatened that she'll call back later or come drag me out of bed if i don't make the call...........i still haven't made the call i just want to stay in bed today so i won't be answering the phone today...... i just need a break.

i know all these things are happening because i need to build some character and be more brave and to stop being a coward where life is concerned and i have been getting there slowly i finally am dealing with my marriage and doing what is best for me and my sanity....but this is just too much....

All i know now is that sexual harassment is real its about someone abusing their power over someone and the lesson that i learned so far is that i am going to speak up in the future if someone does something to make me feel uncomfortable i am going to be strong enough to say something and not run like i normally do because sometimes these things don't go away by themselves they can get out of hand like i am finding out firsthand.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Rain rain go away.............

Oh what a rainy day today turned out to be lightening and thunder all day long and being the coward that i am couldn't get much done today i am one of those who unplug everything during thunder storms and the phone i read somewhere that you can get eletrocuted if you use your phone so you know i stayed as far from the phones and windows as possible.

I finally got a digital camera this weekend but guest what i have to now go buy a memory card because the internal memory can only store 6 pics at a time isn't that tipical? my son and i have been joking around today and listing all the things we have bought over the years that you had to go out and buy extra stuff for you know we bought a LeapPad in the US in '04 you need to get the different cartridges for it almost all his toys need batteries or some kind of extra something you buy a dvd you need a dvd player its always something and on and on.

Anyway my first picture is of one of the waffles i made for breakfast this morning my sister went to Grenada recently and brought back some nutmeg syrup and i took a pic of it it was delicious not very sweet and light.

My son is home from school and i am determined that he doesn't spend this vacation zoning out infront of the tv or computer he is going to do a lot of reading and we are going on some serious adventures and this camera is going to come in handy for that.

Thursday, July 06, 2006


Vision sets you free from the limitations of what the eyes can see and allows you to enter into the liberty of what the heart can feel. It is Vision that makes the unseen visible and the unknown possible.

Vision also makes suffering and disappointment bearable. Vision generates hope in the midst of despair and provides endurance in tribulation. Vision inspires the depressed and motivates the discouraged.

A friend lent me this book today and I got those quotes just from the Preface its called The Principles and Power of Vision by Dr. Myles Munroe I haven't been able to put it down since.

I so believe that there are people in your life who are there to set you in the right direction sometimes, one day its a girlfriend telling me to write down my dreams for myself and today another friend gave me this book and told me I HAD to read it he got it as a birthday gift from his mom and I felt so good knowing that he is willing to lend me his book. I feel lucky today to have good people in my life who just wants to see me do good.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


"If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again." - Flavia Weedn

I found that quote at Renee gets fit blog today and its such a coincidence because a friend told me today to sit down and do a list of my dreams and what i want for myself which is something i used to do.
I had lists all over my house reminding me so that i can remain focused on my dreams but a time ago those lists used to make me so sad that i threw them away but you know what not because my life is not turning out the way i wanted it to these days doesn't mean i have to give up .....

This is what i wrote down so far...

1. Lose weight and get fit
2. Learn to swim
3. Get my driver's licence once and for all
4. Start back sewing i don't know why i stopped
5.Become a vegetarian( this will be easier to do now)
6. Teach son to eat with chop sticks and to write letters and everything else i know
7.Gardening.... organize herb garden in back yard and put more plants indoors
8.Find me
9. Be Happy again somehow
10.Meet new people
11.Live in a foreign country (NY) for at least a year
12. Save for my dream home (may take longer than i thought)
13. Learn french and visit France
14. Get Engineering Degree ( one year down two to go)
15. Do more traveling especially with son its a form of education.
16. Adopt little girl name her Petal or Essence
17. Start back reading not just chick lit but serious books autobiographies
19.Get a laptop ( want to be a serious blogger)
20.Retire early so that i can give back while i am young enough to do so.

Sunday, July 02, 2006


My sister who is only older than me by maybe an hour if so much thinks i am not equiped to go back out into the real world and be single she says someone like me who has been in only two relationships her entire life who has only had long term relationships been married for so long will not be able to deal with the lonliness that comes with being single and i don't know how to explain to her that you can be in a relationship and still be so incredibly lonely it hurts physically.

All I want is for someone to get me i know i am complicated and moody but after ten years isn't that more than enough time how much more time will it take?

Fantasist I heard someone use that word to describe Bridget Jones and I think it describes me too............. a person who creates fantasies.............

An unrealistic or improbable supposition...............that's's definition of fantasy .........unrealistic..........unrealistic..........unrealistic...........

I felt like shit reading that i know i live in a fantasy i don't know anyone in my real life who has seen Casanova as much as me or even like old school movies and music from the time when people got a high just walking in the park holding hands or reading peotry to each other or even writing letters i love writing letters even in this internet age ............i wonder if i am fixated on romantic movies and songs because i don't get it at all and the things that i want and crave are unrealistic and this is as good as it gets for me and i should just be happy........blah blah blah..... the thing is maybe the men who live in the real world don't love and behave like Humprey Bogart and flowere are really a waste of money too maybe if i keep telling myself that eventually i'll start believing it and i'll stop feeling this way.

I guess that's why i did not like the Break Up movie it was too much like my real life and who wants to go to the movies to see their real life? Real life is too hard sometimes and sometimes a girl has to escape it just to keep going.