just a chick from Trinidad writing about her life on a small island but with big dreams all the same.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

This blog.......................

I am one of those people who believe everything happens for a reason since I messed up my blog I have been discovering a whole world of other blogs out there its been really interesting I have been using people's blogroll to find back my favorite bloggers slow process but you wouldn't believe the amazing blogs I have found this blog about a waiter working in a restaurant in NY some people just have a knack for writing good stuff.

I found the blog of a beautiful black man with locks down to his waist beautiful my dream fella and now I can't find him and I could cry from frustration I know, I know, I am married and am being punished for lusting after a man on the web on the Lords day to booth..........I know I need some serious help.

I don't like my blog at all I don't have a themeand I want a fancy template but after my last experience I tink I will have to really do that webdesign course before I even dare try to change this template again. I like blogs with pictures especially pictures of the bloggers me I am too chicken to show my picture I mean people on the web all seem to be soooooooo annoyingly good looking I mean me I have to lose at least 50lbs before I would even dare show my pic here.

In real life I get embarrassed easily you wouldn't believe yesterday I was taking a taxi from the airport to go home and I jumped into this taxi and inside was a mess you know the kind of taxis where the windows don't work and you have to put your hand on the outside to open the door? and it smelled of diesel and you know I am a coward I always feel these kinds of cars would shut down in the middle of the highway and I we will die in a firery death yes I have a huge imagination but me instead of telling the driver that I am uncomfortable in his taxi I made up a story that I forgot to take out money from the ATM and ran back into the airport AND hid until he drove off with other passengers shameful eh? I just did not want to hurt his feelings big coward that I am.

Have a great week everyone thanks for reading maybe one day soon I will find the time to do a make over of this blog and make it fancy with pictures and stories about my world travels and my celebrity friends........ yeah right in my dreams........

Saturday, March 25, 2006


I don't know what I did to mess up my site but Thank God!! its sorta back.
I loosed all my links no blog roll don't even know how to build that back and I loosed my site meter thingy and its totally confusing.........................OK need to take a deep breath......... at least I did not lose my posts and can still MAKE posts.

I am not a computer person and have no idea what I did to mess up my site.

In the mean time I have been using other people's blogs to find my favorite reads thank God I was able to remember some of your site names.

I am still here so please bear with me I am not so good at this as you can tell so it will be a while.

Thats the last time I will try to change my template somepeople (me) should find better things to do late at night instead of messing around with their blog......... note to self...........

Friday, March 17, 2006

Still here.........................

I am still here just burned out. Right after Carnival I started getting these pains in my chest where I felt like I was getting a heart attack and had real low energy and couldn't concentrate to do simple tasks I was so worried I finally got around to seeing my doctor about it he say its anxiety and that I am trying to do to much he even suggested that I should pick between school or work that I can't do both but my reality is that I can't afford to quit my job I need it to pay the bills and I need to continue my education to get a better job so I am kinda stuck.

I am trying non medication ways of coping I took some time off from school and just stayed in bed and watched tv and chilled and I am getting help from a concellor to cope with the other issues that I have been putting to the back of my mind for too long I have finally realised that somethings you do need help with and my usual method of writing in my diary or waiting for it to pass just not cutting it this time around.

Today is the first day in weeks that I feel a bit better the one good thing is I finally got to see the story of Malcolm X 3 and 1/2 hours long movie and I finally got to see Office Space my husband's favorite movie I watched it about three times I get it it is really funny.

Oh and you know what my new favorite thing to do is? calling radio stations to win prizes try it its a lot of fun especially when they put you to talk on the air live. I won a ticket to see Jeffery Osborne in Concert on the 30th isn't that the coolest? since I am miss I never won anything in my life so that was great.

Oh and for those of you who remember last year I blogged about going to the Tobago Jazz festival here , here and here, well rumour had it that Elton John and Celine Dion were going to perform so we had no plans of going this year but guess what? the line up is much better than expected Sting, Pattie Labelle, Vanessa Williams, P.Diddy,Natalie Cole ,Johnny Gill its next month April 21st-23rd so now we are seriously thinking about going to this last year was great and my husband and I both love Sting.

What else..............Oh my son's fish died and we were trying to decide what other pet to get him and last week we came home and found a young Parrot in the backyard and he walked into the house as if he lived here for ages and wouldn't leave so we started feeding him and now we have a new member in the family he can already imitated our laughter and whistles a neighbour lent us a huge cage for him and now my son has a new pet he is so tame we let him walk around the house and he has a great personallity we are not allowed to have pets here one of the benefits of condo living but so far non of the neighbours have complained he only makes a lot of noise if my son puts the tv on too loud and I love him for complaining because I am the same way don't like the tv on too loud either. My son has named him Rocky.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Carnival done...............

OK I really don't know what to think about my Carnival experience could have been better.

A good friend of mine died on Carnival tuesday I saw him the week before he had a beer in his right hand and he gave me a choking hug with his left arm he was happy and was teasing me he calls me sweetness and now he is dead and I am still in shock I can't stand it. He was such a great guy so sweet to me and now he's gone forever and I keep going over in my mind the last time I saw him.

My little sister had a baby boy and I am loving him already because he waited til Ash Wednesday to be borned 9lbs boy do we make huge babies in our family now I am trying to convince her that Ralphie is a perfect name for him she's not taking me on at all.

OK about my Carnival it was ok I met Karen from the chookooloonks blog my first official meeting of a fellow blogger and she is really beautiful in real life I just knew it I hope we get to see each other again soon she posted about her carnival experience here.

I made a fool of myself by going up to a guy in the band who looked like Francis from the Moving Back to Jamaica Blog and asking him if he was and of course he was not but his friend tried to convince me that it was indeed him and it became a joke for the day everytime we saw each other he would try to convince me yes his name was Francis as if I don't know the difference between a Jamaican and Trini accent so I did not get to meet Francis.

OK I know I should be sounding more entusiastic about my Carnival experience but it wasn't all that great I missed my husband alot everytime I saw a girl that look like the type he would like I would wish he was there to point her out and just to share the whole experience with.

Monday was a disaster because my girlfriend who I believe has food issues when we stopped to eat she ate NOTHING all day she even embarassed me when they were passing around the icecream for desert she shouted at me not to take one infront of our friends and strangers I quickly ran to the bathroom I was so embarassed she made it seem as if I could not control my eating anyway @ 4pm we loosed our friends and she got sick and we ended up in an ambulance yes first time in my life I have ever seen the inside of an ambulance she was severely dehydrated and when the medic said he may have to take her to the hospital I loosed it I cried and cried and cried we spent the remaining of Carnival Monday evening in the ambulance with the medic trying all kinds of stuff to get her better and until we could get a ride home I cried all the way home it was like the shut of valve for my tears was not working I am embarassed now because I don't know why I cried so much now my friends think I am oversensitive which I am not I was just overwhelmed it was too much stress seeing my girlfriend sick like that and feeling helpless and I know in a month or two I might be laughing about it but it was not funny at the time, still not funny.

Tuesday was better it was like a mini renunion I met friends that I haven't seen in years and years I had a fantastic time didn't want it to end and yes I did get sunburn black as I am and I did use a lot of sunscreen oh and I saw that hot actor the one who has a show on Showtime Sleeper Cell Michael Ealy talk about your gorgeous black man well he was in the band surrounded by serious security so I only got to watch him from a distance, all in all Carnival was good Tribe is the best band if you should ever consider playing mas in Trinidad and Tobago this is the band to play with.

I will post pics later.