SmallIslandGirl

just a chick from Trinidad writing about her life on a small island but with big dreams all the same.

Friday, December 30, 2005

HIGHLIGHTS OF 2005.....

In honour of my new favorite blogger TeeJ here is my first attempt at one of his rambling lists.....

1. The son and I visited the in-laws in D.C. early January
2. It was cold but there was no snow
3. I wish I could experience a real snow storm one day
4. I don't know why people complain about the cold it wasn't so bad
5. It felt like the inside of a fridge guest its the way we complain about the heat here
6. I read somewhere that a woman is like an oven and a man is like a microwave when it comes to sex
7. I think about sex a lot these days must not be getting it enough must do something about that......
8. You look inside my fantasy and made each one come thru.......
9. Love that Dionne Warwick song she was here last month and I did not go
10. A fool will lose tomorrow looking back to yesterday...... true words Dionne
11. Got two job offers on my return from the DC trip
12. Took the one that was willing to acommodate my classes.
13. Discovered Tony Pierce's blog in February and eventually sent him an email
14. He answered my email plan to frame it.
15.Started my own blog with his help in June.
16. Noticed today that my last library books were due in June blogs have replaced my library visits very very bad need to remedy that.
17.Mini break toTobago in August we saw Brian Lara, Angie Stone and Shaggy
18. Started over Degree program in September
19. Finished first semester sucessfully this time so proud of self
20. Looking forward to second semester in January
21. Still overweight but extremely happy overall
22. Did not do much traveling this year did see some great concerts though
22. All in all 2005 Great Year!!!

Monday, December 26, 2005

THINGS.....

I stole this from my my new favorite blogger TeeJ

Me
I AM.....really horny right now

I WILL ALWAYS.....be a little bit fat..a la Bridget Jones
I MISS.....the body i had before i had my son
I HEAR.....neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye... Gladys Knight
I CRAVE.....sex right now
I WORRY.....too much
I REGRET.....not taking naked pictures before i had my son
I LOVE...... my family
I SING.....when i am happy
I LOST......my engagement ring
I LIKE.....it when things work out after all
I DONT LIKE.....injustice
I AM LISTENING TO.....sad fm 107.1 fm Top of the dial the adult choice....
I CAN BE.....moody sometimes
I NEED......some sex
I KNOW THAT.....I am blessed
I HOPE......to live long enough to see my son grow up and do well
I WANT.....the war to end and for my goverment to solve the crime problem
I WISH.....I could figure out why my twin sister and i can't be friends
I CRY.....too often
I FEEL.....things too much very sensitive
I BELIEVE.....in the power of pray
I AM PROUD.....of my achievements so far considering where i came from
I THINK.....I'm a blog addict

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Sad Fm......

Its almost midnight here and I am stuck at work bored out of my mind and the guy at the radio station is in some kind of sentimental tabanca (trini term for broken heart) mood talk about sad fm in the last hour he's played

Rainy night in Georgia the Brooke Benton version
Here every Christmas... Lurther Vandross
Do me Baby not the Prince version
There's more to love than making love..... Roberta Flack
The Reason song.......
Ordinary People.... John Legend

And now he's playing this song that goes..... I don't even know how to love you just the way you want me to, but I'm ready to learn...... don't know the name but so sweet.....

Lawdee ah can't take it I wish I could leave now and go home and disturb hubby's sleep this is real torture the office is dead quiet creepy even and its freezing I have 6 more hours here oh well at least I got to spend Christmas with my family I just spoke to one of my co-workers in NY and he did not get to see his wife and kids today I felt it for him its really hard when your job gets in the way of your family life.

Today was great I slept alot finally got to see AChristmas Story loove that show just love it don't know why I don't get a personal copy so that I could watch it during the year instead of having to wait for Christmas to see it, our son was in his glee he got everything he wanted I hope we don't spoil him but he got straight A's in his school report and we felt he deserved being spoiled a little.

It was a quiet day and tomorrow we spend the day at my mothers not looking forward to it because my twin sister and I are not talking long story may blog about it soon and its going to be ackward as hell but I don't want to dissapoint my mom i'm hoping that we show up at different times I hate all this family drama its like we are teenagers all over again but what can you do sometimes.... we shared a womb together you would think we could get along better, oh well.

Hope you all had a great day today.

*UPDATE: He's playing Sharing the night together by Dr. Hook remember that song? love it real sad fm indeed.....

Friday, December 23, 2005

Tis the season........

Happy Christmas to all of you

Thanks for making this year my best ever.....

I love blogging and love the new friends that I have made thru this blog...

Thanks for the good advice and nice comments and for just reading......

Happy Christmas especially to those of you who have to work for the holidays like me...

I feel your pain you are not alone.....

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Dialogue...........

Boy was I mad last night but the good thing is that this whole situation has opened up a lot of dialogue between my husband and I.

I mean really do you really ever know a person or just that part of them that they show you? I mean how do you really know a person if he my husband tells me that he still loves me just as I am how do I know that really and truly thats how he feels or he's just being kind and doesn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me the truth.

The reason why I was saying that is because I only found out recently that the strippers at his bachelor party got fully naked AND had contact with the guys I mean I was showing him the story about the saugeen stripper that Tony blogged about and when I showed him the pictures I was like at least the girls in your party did not do those things then he got quiet and then he confessed that yes it was something like that and I was after 7 years you are now telling me your party was like that I always had a picture in my head of it being the lingerie wearing pole dancing thing I did not for the life of me pictured it being like that and I honestly honestly would not have let him have a bachelor party if I had any clue they were allowed to touch the girls I mean knowing the kind of person I am back then and now what made him think I would have been ok with that really.

I mean I am only now finding this out and who knows what else happened that he's not telling me who knows there might be pictures circulating somewhere and maybe 7 years from now I will get the rest of the story and here I am feeling bad for wanting to go see the dam Chippendales and from the reviews in the paper apparently the show was very tame the women won't allowed to touch the guys and they just did routines to certain songs and used inuendos so really you think you know someone but do you really ever ever know what is really going on I mean 7 years ago my husband told me the girls just danced for them they were in the centre of the room and they just did a routine and the rest of the night it was just like a normal party I mean he had a DJ and foolish me believed him and am only now finding out that they, he had contact with the girls I mean really how stupid and naive can a person be and all this time no wonder his friends think I am so cool well I wasn't being cool I was just stupid and naive we spoke so much about this this morning that our son woke up and accused me of arguing with his dad I was not I was just in shock and still am I mean really did he really think I would have been ok with this I wish I could give him some type of truth serum so I could get the full story of all the times he has been to strip clubs and what he really did over the years because my mind is going crazy I have been looking at him all day and wondering really do I truly know this man at all.

I know I should give this thing a rest am getting worked up over nothing really but I mean my girlfriends husband was drunk when he said what he said to her who knows how long he must have kept that inside and it must have slipped out I should be studying for my exam tomorrow and this thing is just niggligling at me constantly he thinks it funny but its not and now I'm blogging about it.

I told him I want details about all the strip clubs that folish me has allowed him to go to over the years I know of about three whenever he and his friends visit Miami I know they visit strip clubs if he feels I am going to let this thing die he lie.

Need to rant.....................

There is this part in Bridget Jones Diary where she says when one aspect of your life is going great another must go bad and it seems to be true.

Here I am going on about my marriage and my girlfriend the one who I was suppose to go see the Chippendales with she tells me she is doing a Jessica and filing for divorce and wants me to help her find an appartment and I feel so helpless and mad and confused that I don't know what to do.

Her husband asked me to talk to her and all I really want to do is punch him in the stomach and tell him he's a prick and lets see if he's going to get another woman to mine his three kids and put up with his shit the way she has been.

Imagine he told her that she's not in his league anymore, they were at a party and she asked him if he would make a move on her now if he was single and saw her for the first time and he told her no because she is not in his league anymore.

WTF is wrong with him since when it was ok to insult your wife you fat big belly short piece of s**t oh I am so mad the answer to that question is yes even if you have to lie you stupid prick hole.

I have this male friend who did the same thing he said he did it to get his wife to lose weight I mean she was not even fat and believe me I know what fat is she just had their second child and he got mad one day and told her when exactly is she planning to lose the baby weight well she DID join the gym and DID lose the weight but guess what he followed her one day and she was having a cosy lunch with a doctor friend that frightened the shit out of him he said he woke up and smelled the coffee big time and started appreciating what he had because he realised that she had options too and he could not compete with a rich doctor serves him right.

I have never seen my girlfriend this stressed she cries at the drop of a hat and I have one more exam to prepare for so most of my consoling has been by phone.

I don't get it at all I am so angry what is up with these expectations men have of women and this whole thing is affecting my marriage too because.... well I have to tell the truth I blew up at my husband because he kept complimenting a friend of ours infront of me because she just got her hair done but he kept going on and on about it and I losed it and told him that if he wants I could forget about the bills and take $600. and go get my f...king hair done too yes I know I was wrong...... but its like when was the last time you complimented me on my hair like that how dare you go on and on about her hair with me right there lord......I need to breathe....... I have issues I should be studying for an exam on monday but I have to get this off my chest I wonder sometimes if my husband thinks the same way as my girlfriend's husband lord knows I ain't the woman he married 7 years ago and no matter how much weight I lose I will NEVER look like that EVER again but you know what I wouldn't want a superficial prick for a husband anyway so f...k him if thats how he thinks.

......I don't cuss in real life only in my head..........

UPDATE!!
I read
this post by Sienna lord I need to email it to my friend Sienna girl thanks for posting this your timing is amazing blogs do serve a purpose after all.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Reasons not to reuse your Christmas lights...........

Have any of you guys put up your Christmas tree yet?

Even though I live in the caribbean we do put up Christmas trees here too its just made of plastic and we ususally put lights and decorations on it and we put lights on this tree at the front of the house too.

Anyway our son has been begging to put up the tree so my husband decided to put it up a few nights ago the thing is I had to work so I was not able to supervise but its easy since its a plastic tree all you have to do is take it out of the store room remove the old sheet from around it and put up the decorations and voila you have your tree up.

But as I said I was not at home to supervise and I get a 1am phone call from my son he tells me that the lights started sparking and daddy screamd like a girl I am still lauging when ever I think about it my husband decided to reuse the lights from last year something we NEVER do because its too tedious and you always end up with a portion not lighting but he decided that he was going to unravel the lights from last year and reuse them and I think there was a short I wasn't there so I don't know but our son described how his dad squealed out when it sparked i couldn't get mad with him for almost burning down the house because I think he learned his lesson because the tree is still without lights he threw away the old ones and haven't bought any new ones yet.

Exam preparation is slow going I am bored to tell the truth still giving husband a hard time we went to a concert last week and he wore a shirt that I bought for him and he looked sooo good in it I saw a woman checking him out and I felt proud.

The Chippendales will be in town next week and now I feel bad that I want to still go see them is it bad that I have a sexy husband who does me right but I still want to go out with my girlfriends to see some naked men do a strip act? He says he doesn't mind me going but i'm feeling guilty somehow i mean i haven't seen a another real live naked man besides him in a long time even though I don't think the Chippendales will get fully naked its illegal here anyway but i can't lie i am really breathless with excitement to go and feel kinda guilty about that i still have time to decide though.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Short post........

I have to make this short because its finals these next few weeks so i should concentrate on that.

I learned something about myself these past few days and promise to blog about it soon.

Nothing much has been going on except school and deadlines.

A family member had to be taked back to rehab last week and it has put a damper on our holiday season i'm sad and feel helpless wondering why this drug has such a hold on an intelligent person who has everything going for him except the ability release himself from the pull of these drugs he was doing so well too. I know we all have our demons to deal with guest thats what makes us imperfect humans.

I am still reading blogs its my way of relieving stress just not finding time to blog myself.

I found some really cool blogs so you could read those in the mean time.

I like this blog design that caracture could be a skinny version of me :O) i wish!!

This guy gets close to a thousand comments in his blog i wonder if he reads them at all.

She did a post called the mother in law pledge and i love it!

SEASONS GREETINGS EVERYONE!!! HAPPY READING!!!