just a chick from Trinidad writing about her life on a small island but with big dreams all the same.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005


Last year around this time his bags were packed and he was heading back to his mother's house I was prepared to sell the house take my baby and start over.

My father came over and told me that leaving my mother was his biggest regret in life because what he thought he wanted he already had and now all he wants is to grow old with someone but he waited too long and its too late don't make the same mistake. My aunt came over and said she loves him like a son and we should work on whatever the problems were and we should think about the baby. My sister came over and said she wish for what I have and don't throw it away. My best friend did the you think you have it hard look at my husband thing and it worked I took him back and the councellor said we are not a perfect fit he needs a suzy homemaker type and you need a strong take charge type and he doesn't like to talk and you talk too much but with hard work it could work but where are these people on the nights that your pillow is wet from your tears and he is downstairs sleeping on the sofa and you can't sleep because your mind won't allow you.

So you get up and go downstairs and he's looking so good you wish you could climb on him but your pride won't let you and you go to the kitchen to prepare a great lunch for the boy and he comes in and grumbles morning and you ask him what is wrong and whatever it is you'll stop, you won't do it again just let you know and you know you sound pathetic but you just can't shutup sometimes and he goes upstairs and ignores you.

The boy comes downstairs see whats in the oven and hugs your leg and tell you you are the best and he has no idea how much he evens the scale and you send him off to school and you put on you sweats and carry your walkman to the savannah and say a little pray to God thanking him for not letting the rain fall today and for your health and family and you ask him for patience and strenght to go on and you run to clear your head.


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