SmallIslandGirl

just a chick from Trinidad writing about her life on a small island but with big dreams all the same.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Welding

The newspaper headlines today about the men who died while welding had me thinking about my dad he wanted a son so badly he tried three times and ended up with four daughters and the only one who took any interest in anything that he had to teach was me.

I can weld because he taught me at an early age when I got to technical school I used to teach the guys he taught me to do an oil change, change spark plugs anything to do with a car I can do, that does not mean that I will do it though because in spite of my efforts to want to please him by learning all those things I still prefer to sew and do girlie things I was an aircraft mechanic for 5 years and was never any good at it I could't lift anything heavy I used to get down because my nails wouldn't stay clean I was terrified of engine runs always felt that I will be sucked into one someday the only thing that I was really useful for was because of my small size I could fit into tight spaces like a fuel tank or something I really hated it and was glad to do something else.

The thing is my mom had a son but he grew up with my grandmother I guess not all men can really take care of another man's child these things were never discussed or explained but I can't help thinking if my dad wanted a son so badly he had one because my brother is a part of my mother and he is such a great guy maybe he would have shared my dad's passion for Landrovers and Karate you never know.

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